My dad told me that he wanted everyone who loved him to laugh and dance at his funeral. And if not possible, at least to promise him there’d be no tears, sobbing and wailing. That when his soul looked down at his loved ones he didn’t want to see them grieving and sad and to know he was not the cause of their pain. he wanted us to always remember him as someone who made us happy. Everyone has to die someday, but what’s important is how they lived and how they made you feel. I see every moment spent with my dad as a warm and wonderful memory. I laugh when I remember his funny antics; i feel grateful for his generosity, feel happy when I remember his 1000 watt smile, I feel strong when I recount his fearless spirit and feel warm when I think of his tight hugs. What he did was create a blanket for me of amazing memories to keep me warm on emotionally cold days. I miss him tremendously, but I don’t grieve in his memory.
The only thing you should cry about when you think of someone you love is what was left unfinished, unsaid or undone. The pain of regret is tremendous and unfortunately can never be corrected. So while your loved ones are alive let nothing be unsaid or undone. Take them to that park/restaurant/holiday spot they’ve wanted to visit for months, say “I love you”, and “thank you”, because you want them to hear it and know it, and give them that gift they’ve been hoping for! When they’re gone, you’re going to smile as you cover yourself with the warm blanket of wonderful memories and sleep content knowing that they are smiling from above.